in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
no, he came in my armpit
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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