How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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