I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
