Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it because I queefed?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
