Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
