hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
