Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
How naked do you want me to be?
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