I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
