Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
