You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize