why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
