i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just cropdusted the office
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
