my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
