We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
