New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
