I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
