He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
so much tequila, so little girl.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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