Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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