that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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