Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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