standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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