fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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