Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize