doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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