The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
