I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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