with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
