Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
