Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
