Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
