Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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