great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
