mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
