maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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