I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
