Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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