wrigley field is MILF paradise
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
