i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
