Me. At least after what I've been through.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
