And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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