Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
