is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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