i just wanna soil my oats bro
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
