i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
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