I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
