Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
