I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
