hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
