do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
His hands were made for my vagina.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
