You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize