I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
