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My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
