i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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