thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
