he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
