I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
