I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
