I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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