I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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