She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
