if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
