Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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