What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
