We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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