Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
