I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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