You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He felt like a one man threesome
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
