i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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