I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
