you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize