Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
