who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
