porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
