You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
