Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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