In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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