We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
