She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
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Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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