hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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